Two weeks of the day job under my belt and I'm back to whatever is "normal." At least I feel like I am normal. I can drink beer, eat meat, and work on a production floor without feeling like I am dying. That's a plus. The little things in life like going to the bathroom or having a lax diet are never missed until they are gone it seems.
Life, where mine is going in particular, has occupied my thoughts recently. Last week I told you all about my talk with my boss at Sequart. Since then I have mentally prepared myself for the road ahead. I think we all expect to lose the day job, but when that day doesn't come, it causes heartache, stress, and paranoia. We get under these spells. We think, "I need this now," "I am ready, really," and "If I do this, then I will be successful." And that's just not true. Sequart is 18 years old, still growing, still changing, but we all want success overnight.
I would consider that most understand this in principal; it takes time to grow and train one's craft. But, with all things, there are gradations to success and failure. I firmly believe that it's possible to be good at something, maybe even the best, but still lack what I would coin as "affirmation" in the trade in question. Affirmation just means a reciprocal recognition of value and skill. To me, in my opinion, the lack of affirmation represents the core problem in pursuing a calling. One can be an editor of a magazine, a manager of content, but feel called to be a content creator. Likewise, a construction worker can be a fabricator, but really want to be a planner, like an engineer, or an architect. The opposite is true as well. There was a while when I wanted to pursue publishing as a career but found content creating far more stimulating. Understanding this, I could report to my publishing activities informed that the path at hand was not my ends to meet. Recognize that calling must be appreciated by the person carrying it out and others.
So now that I am at a place where I have this new outlook, the prospects are looking better. I am less stressed and more stable. It's better to recognize that I am traveling a path that is good, but not the one that I was meant to ultimately end on. Everything is a stepping stone to some place greater.
Next week will be better. I hope that I can get things done. As always, I will report updates on my end. The graphic novel is getting thumbed out right now which is exciting. Also, my book is soon to be scouted by some heavy hitters. I am hopeful that I can get some much needed traction from a good acquisitions editor.