Friday, February 14, 2014

The Magic of Bulk Honey

Today I nearly forgot to post this. To be fair, I've been under the weather as of late. My mind has been torn into bits of colored paper; the similar variant one sees at those fancy dinner parties that I am never invited to. That probably explains why I think confetti would be there. 

Is that what it is called?

A strep infection has ridden me infectious for the time being. As we speak a life and death struggle permeates my being. Blue boy has been dropped, and the holocaust has commenced. In the mean time, probiotics are taking up the bulk calories in my daily meals. I guess that would be the UN in this analogy. 

This has allowed me to take some time off of work. Thus far the time has yielded vast, bizarre encounters of a far off world, one that is never too far from me, and yet wholly inaccessible. Productivity, advancement, progress, these are the words that come to mind. I read 20 cantos in two days. Absolutely remarkable! O' Day Job, thine poisoned grasp hath choked my vision! 

I even had time to go to Costco. I never imagined that a nine to five would be so restricting. I live not 15 minutes from a storehouse of bulk fantasies and yet I am barred access by narrow hours of operations. Of course, I can always go on the weekends, but who has time to brave the hellish Armageddon that awaits me there? Bulk honey for $13.50? They might as well be giving me gold for my trouble. 

A good thing for all of you: My book will be out very soon. Tomorrow I will have my first meeting with my designer to look at proofs of the cover and title. This is a process that I am sort of familiar with already. But when it's your book, everything is on the line. I have been informed by a few novelists indirectly over the course of my life that it is natural to hate your work when it is finished. To look back, reflect, wince -- Providence! -- and say, "this is awful," is a detestable lie. It just looks awful in retrospect. It's taken me nearly a year to publish my first book, Lord knows how much I've improved since then. 

If you haven't heard, Metal Slug 3 is out on Steam. I procured it myself and it delivers on everything that was promised! I'm not joking. It does. And, yes, it is worth $8. My experience with Metal Slug 3 dates back to when I was a wee boy hanging out in arcades like Nickel City. I loved the animations, the action, the platforming. It was like Mario Bros. but with balls! Be thankful that the port is the US version but with all the blood effects from the original Japanese build. It's gratuitous and over the top, but most importantly, completely intelligible. Don't take my word for it, just buy it, dammit...


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